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20050705
everything's going all wrong.i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you why'd you have to be so nice and everythingi hate you i hate you but at the same time i love like you a lotlove is too much i know that it won't be this way forever i thought i was over you but everything's started again i hate you you've messed me up, my heart and my mind. i can't concentrate i feel sick i feel too happy when i hear from you but otherwise its just a mess when i talk to you i'm happy when i'm happy, even after sleeping late i'd be wide awake in school otherwise its just. shit. i've become too dependent on you i wish i never you i don't know. do i? for the times we've had they were worth it but when i hit rock bottom you're not there it hurts so bad i know it'd never become a reality and i just. i hate you for doing this to me i hate you for being so incredibly awesome and i hate you for making me feel shitty but it's not even your fault i was the one who fell in lovelike with you. you didn't. i hate this. i hate you its !%#$&! everytime i check my phone it's not a sms from you everytime someone talks to me on msn its not you i wanna talk to you but i'm afraid of awkward silences and then it's too late you've gone offline. i hate you why can't you just. i don't know, i don't want you to find out. this is killing me its ruining my schoolwork.
10:11 PM
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